


coaching

by spacekiddgray



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Angst, Panic Attacks, i tried to emulate a real panic attack, set before ep 7, so be careful if that gets u spooked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 11:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8711473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacekiddgray/pseuds/spacekiddgray
Summary: sometimes victor has to be a coach off of the ice, too.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i saw these gays on my tumblr and i was like 'why dont i check this out? it won't consume my life' i was wrong. i was SO WRONG. 
> 
> anyways enjoy this i didn't even reread it so there's probs mistakes. pls be gentle with me this is my first time writing fics in like,, a year or two

Yuuri can’t remember what set it off, but he remembered a vague timeline of events. Dread settled in once they got onto the plane, fear had trickled into his blood by the time they checked in, and now the sun was set and time was his worst enemy.  _ God, _ he thought,  _ I just want morning to come _ . So he could skate, so he could stop worrying. Victor had fallen asleep a while ago (tucked into his bed, which had only added onto the growing anxiety in his stomach), and he felt like he was just being annoying. His anxiety was here again, making everything that should’ve been nice a horrific mess. 

 

Morning didn’t feel like it was coming. Here he was, mindlessly staring at  the clock as his breath constricted, his lungs closed up and, shit, the panic. The panic was the worst. He remembered Victor’s voice, soft and light in the darkness his anxiety made, telling him he needed to clear his mind to skate the best. How would he ever win like this? 

 

He never heard the sheets rustling as his labored breathing woke up his coach, but he felt the warm hand that suddenly settled on his waist, touching the bare spot where his shirt rode up when he curled up. 

 

“Yuuri,” Victor sounded tired, but there was an edge of concern. Or was he annoyed? Had he pushed his luck too far? Yuuri couldn’t catch his breath soon enough. “Yuuri, what’s wrong?”

 

Everything. Somehow, the soft voice that normally would cause his thoughts to stop only riled him up even worse. His already inconsistent gasping stuttered and halted for a moment too long, and Yuuri felt like he might die. Was he being over dramatic? Probably. He couldn’t tell. He couldn’t even look up at Victor. 

 

However, Victor wasn’t panicking. He was worried, of course. His sleepiness had worn off the second he realized the movement behind him was Yuuri breathing so sporadically that he shook the bed slightly when he managed to inhale. But, he knew that he couldn’t panic.

 

He’d seen Yuuri like this once before. Nothing this bad, but Yuuri had panicked once after a night of too intense training where he ended up landing wrong and nearly spraining his ankle. Victor could ease that anxiety much easier, because Yuuri’s panic stemmed from something a soak in hot water and compression could fix. Victor knew the roots of Yuuri’s anxiety, and while he couldn’t physically get rid of them, he could at least help Yuuri catch his breath. 

 

Gentle hands soon turned Yuuri onto his back, resting on his shoulders afterwards. He read about this once, after the first mild time. He also knew what Yuuri needed.

 

Yuuri still couldn’t see. Was his vision usually this blurry? He knew his vision was awful, but he was crying a lot apparently at that didn’t help. 

 

“Yuuri,” Victor’s voice cut in through the panic again. “Listen to me… I’m right here. Just listen to me. You can do this. Take a deep breath with me, okay, Yuuri?”

 

Victor took a slow deep breath, and Yuri really did try his best. Halfway into his breath, his lungs stuttered without his permission and he let out a choked sob. It was an improvement, though. 

 

“Again. Let’s try it again. You’re doing great,” Victor repeated, taking Yuuri’s hands so he could squeeze him if he needed to. He didn’t know if the praise helped or not, but Yuuri knew it did. It absolutely did. When Victor spoke to him like that, gave him gentle instructions, it was so solid that his anxiety couldn’t twist the gentleness into anything horrific. 

 

He managed to breathe in without any interruptions after a few more deep breaths, but Victor kept cooing gentle reassurances until Yuri’s soft sobs stopped and his tears seemed to stop falling so continuously. 

 

“I’m s-sorry,” Yuuri said, anxiety still not gone but the horrible panic he felt had been eradicated. “I should be sleeping, a-and so should you. God, I’m so awf-”

 

“Sh… You’re allowed to feel vulnerable sometimes. You’re allowed to be scared,” Victor started, his voice still gentle, but more encouraging now. “The whole world gets to watch you unleash something very personal every time you perform. It’s only fair that sometimes, whether you control it or not, you let yourself or your coach see your own emotions. What started this? The panic?”

 

“I-I… Don’t know. I just left feeling u-upset and panicky because I d-didn’t want to mess this up, and then I was tired and it… Made it worse,” Yuuri explained, looking rather miserable as he rubbed at his pink and swollen eyes with his sleeves. His voice was soft and raw, and even a little shaky at times. 

 

“Okay. That’s alright… I know you must be scared to mess this up, but, I believe in you, Yuuri. I know that won’t be enough to make you feel better, but perhaps you can feel better enough to get some sleep,” Victor suggested as he settled back onto the bed, wrapping his arms around the Japanese man and pulling him a little closer. He didn’t push himself much more onto the other, worried that he might make him more anxious.

 

Yuuri didn’t move at first when Victor pulled him close. But, after a long moment of hesitation, he turned to press his face into the other’s neck and close his eyes. Fingers gently ran through his hair and rested on the base of his neck, another hand pressed against his back. Yuuri found himself undeniably warm as he started to fall asleep. At least when he panicked like that, he could sleep much easier afterwards.

  
And, at least he had Victor, to hold him and support him through every horrible night. 

**Author's Note:**

> stay tuned for more gay!!


End file.
